I wonder if “exoticism” when it pertains to PoC and people being attracted to us is also about assumptions of our ignorance as well as us being a source of potential sexual variety.
I’ve met American men who only dated non-African American BW if they dated BW at all. And it wasn’t enough for you to be the daughter of Black immigrants. They had to hear an accent in your voice that was not USian. Phenotypically, these women were indistinguishable from BW, until they opened their mouths to speak. I’ve been on the receiving end of such treatment when I went overseas. I was treated as yet another noisome African or Caribbean until I opened my mouth to speak American English or French without those accents.
I remember discussing the former with fellow AfAm women and we concluded that those guys (and they weren’t always White) thought that foreign women wouldn’t see through their racist-misogynistic bullshit like we could due to having been exposed to it our whole lives. That’s the assumption that was made about me overseas. Those folks figured as long as they didn’t call me a “nigger” and were syrupy sweet to me to the point of diabetes, I wouldn’t be able to suss them out because that was the only way White Americans expressed their racism and the only form I’d be able to detect. They were mightily put out when they saw I still sniffed them out from their blatant hatred and disdain for the peoples of color they colonized and enslaved because they stayed reassuring me that they didn’t mean ME or “my people.” We were somehow noble darkies. When I showed them I wasn’t fooled or taken in, then I was suddenly utterly undesirable.
I wonder if this assumption/hope of ignorance is behind so many non-Asian men’s obsession of where any random Asian woman is “really” from even as she speaks with a standard midwestern, Californian, Bostonian or Southern accent and the imperfect English that Americans speak. If it’s a matter of aesthetics an unmixed Asian American woman is indistinguishable from her female counterpart in Asia. But it’s the idea of being foreign and therefore not being as able to detect racist misogynistic crap (as well as a hope that they were raised “traditionally’, stereotypically seen as raised to be docile man-pleasers) as well as those women who are American is also a big part of the draw.
- amazing-how-you-love said: When I point out racism, white people cite a “real” Asian (one who speaks without an accent) to disagree and put me in my place. But exoticism goes deeper and more perverse than that, I liken it to how whites love black babies, hate black adults.
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